


Anakin's Froggy Friend

by Demi_Fae



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, The author regrets nothing and everything at once, ehhh somewhat anyway, i laughed so much writing this, please dont take this seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:27:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25169203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demi_Fae/pseuds/Demi_Fae
Summary: Anakin finds a frog in the desert when he's five.Only its not a frog, Anakin's now a dad, and this changes everything.
Relationships: Baby Yoda (The Mandalorian TV) & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker (mentioned)
Comments: 91
Kudos: 539
Collections: Good Things Come In Small Packages





	Anakin's Froggy Friend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [loosingletters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/loosingletters/gifts).



> This is told in a series of short snippets throughout years, in somewhat- chronological order.
> 
> My POVs, timelines, and general facts are probably off in this quite a bit, so please bear in mind: This is all crack.
> 
> Eli, this was created immediately after our conversation, and I hope it made you laugh as much as it did me while I was writing it.

To say Qui-Gon was shocked would be an understatement. He’d suspected that the boy in the shop was the Chosen One, with his Force signature- the brightest Qui-Gon had ever felt, including Yoda. He’d known right away that he must be brought back to the Order, must be trained to become a Jedi- but he hadn’t expected the frog. 

Or rather, he hadn’t expected a child that looked like it could be Grandmaster Yoda’s species. 

Qui-Gon shifted uncomfortably in his chair, looking at the boy. He’d brought the group back to his home, with his mother, after warning them of a sandstorm that was on its way. The family had provided for the group, despite obviously having very little. It warmed Qui-Gon’s heart to know the kindness two slaves would have for strangers, despite the horrid conditions in which they lived. 

“And who is this?” He asked the boy- Anakin. Qui-Gon hoped that Anakin would be alright answering his probing questions, wondering at the… Baby Yoda? That was with him. It seemed to be the right idea, as Anakin brightened considerably and answered. 

“This is the Child! Mom and I found him years ago, out in a wreck- the pilot died on impact, but we rescued him!” Anakin swung his feet on the chair next to Qui-Gon, holding the green baby in his arms. 

“Ahh, of course,” Qui-Gon nodded his head, pretending to understand. In reality, he felt thrown off like he never had before. There weren’t any words to describe how confused he felt, with the- son?- of a Master he knew whose species had gone extinct years ago. Qui-Gon was hiding his internal struggle well, but not well enough. “Why is his name ‘Child’, then?” 

Anakin giggled, thankfully oblivious to the emotions showing on Qui-Gon’s face like a holoscreen. “Well, I can’t ask him and find out his real name! He can’t talk right now, obviously.” 

“Obviously,” Qui-Gon echoed. He needed time to process all this. Time, and maybe a drink. Or five.

* * *

The Council stared down at where Anakin was standing. Their blank faces, telling him of the fear that lived in his heart and soul, in his bones. Of course Anakin was scared, and their silence wasn’t making it any better. 

A sharp voice cut through the tension. “And who is this?” 

Anakin turned to where the man was looking, down at the Child he’d rescued years ago, which was laying in his arms. “This is my son!” He said brightly. A few of the Jedi erupted into coughing fits at that. 

“Your son?” The same man asked, and Anakin nodded brightly. 

“Yup! I take care of him like my mom did for me, so that makes him my son!” Qui-Gon sighed behind him at the doors, the sound of a man who wishes he had given up so he wouldn’t be affected by this. Anakin ignored it as he focused on those before him. 

“...Alright. And what is your… son’s… Name?” A different figure this time, across the room. 

Anakin smiled brightly. He was far more comfortable talking about the Child rather than himself, could gush on for hours. “He’s the Child! He can’t tell me his name, so that’s what mom and I call him.” His expression dimmed. “Or, well, used to call him.”

Yet another person started to speak, this time a tall Togruta with trailing montrals. “Do you know where the Child’s parents are? Perhaps his father?” 

Anakin frowned. “No, I’m his dad.” There wasn’t anyone else who filled that role, who took care of the Child or loved him. 

“Of course,” The woman seemed amused, but covered it up well. “I only meant if you knew where he came from is all.” 

“Stop this, we must,” yet another voice interrupted. Anakin turned again, facing the one who looked like he could be the same species as the Child. The other Jedi had called him Yoda. “The Child’s father, I am not.” 

Anakin’s bottom lip stuck out as his brow creased further. “Of course you’re not! I take care of him so he’s my son! And,” Anakin glared at the green figure before him with all the righteous rage of a child. “If you are his dad, you were a bad one! Leaving your son alone like that? I’ve taken care of him and I’ll keep taking care of him and that makes me his dad!” Anakin stomped his foot and huffed, completely serious. 

The muffled giggles of the adults around him told Anakin that they weren’t taking him seriously.

* * *

Gossip, as always, spreads quickly through close-knit communities. Friends and family talk with friends and family, and the Jedi are no different. So it wasn’t a surprise to the Masters present in the Council meeting that word had already spread on Yoda’s ‘son’ being taken care of Qui-Gon’s ‘Chosen One’. There was nothing they could say either, to quell the rumors- they themselves didn’t know the truth. 

Mace Windu especially was annoyed and amused in equal measures by the rumors. Annoyed, as some Master had spilled the beans on the contents of the meeting, and amused because undoubtably, Qui-Gon and Yoda were more annoyed by the rumors than he was. 

Mace hid a smile as he heard the musings of two passing Knights. They hadn’t noticed him, otherwise they would have stopped talking, and he strained his ears to hear as they passed. “You honestly don’t think that the Child- is that the name?- could be Yoda’s?” 

The other shook their head and replied. He was a zabrak, tall and thin, with brown coloring. “No! Yoda is a Jedi, the grandmaster- he wouldn’t be one to have a secret kid, and abandon them besides. And anyway…” the zabrak trailed off as his voice trailed off. 

“And anyway?” The blue nautolan continued. The zabrak whispered something into her ear, and she let out a shocked giggle. They walked in silence for a few moments, before the Nautolan spoke up again. “But he totally could! Besides  _ ability,  _ he spends so much time in the creche, he could be missing his own kid! And their species has since gone extinct, where  _ else  _ could it have come from?” 

The zabrak crossed his arms and continued to walk, before sighing and dropping them back to his sides in defeat. “I hate the fact that you could be right,” he groaned. 

“Ha! Now, what do you think…” Mace smirked to himself as the two faded out of earshot. No, Yoda and Qui-Gon could not be happy right now.

* * *

Obi-Wan groaned as he listened to Anakin play with the Child again. “Anakin, shouldn’t he be in the creche, with the other children?” They were in their quarters, as they usually were in their free time. Obi-Wan had been peacefully sipping his tea on their couch when Anakin had come in, Child in tow, and plopped down on the floor to play with the baby. 

“No, remember! You were there when the Council said I could care for him in my spare time!” He replied, beaming. The Child giggled in his lap, and Anakin made more faces at him to get him to smile. 

“How could I forget,” Obi-Wan drawled. 

“I have no idea! It seems like I have to remind you of it every three days!” Obi-Wan honestly couldn’t tell if Anakin was oblivious or sarcastic. Obi-Wan paused to think it over as Anakin turned back to the Child. He heard various murmurs and well, baby talk, as Obi-Wan frowned and rubbed his head, deciding it wasn’t worth it to know what Anakin meant. 

“-your daddy? That’s right! Me!” Anakin and the Child laughed together. 

“Anakin, why do you call yourself his father?” Obi-Wan asked suddenly. “You could more easily be called his brother, or caretaker.” 

Anakin groaned as he flopped onto his back. “Not again! I swear, I feel like I’ve been asked this twelve times in the past week alone!” 

“Well, not by me you haven’t,” Obi-Wan pointed out. 

“I guess that’s true,” Anakin pouted. He tickled the Child again idly as he thought about it. “I- I guess I could be his brother, but I’ve always taken more care of him like a son? And I don’t know, I just…” 

“Just?” Obi-Wan prompted. 

“Just-” both of them jumped as Anakin’s comm rang. Anakin smiled sheepishly as Obi-Wan glared at the loud volume. 

“I thought you turned that down after it interrupted your last exam?” Obi-Wan said pointedly. 

“I did, but-” Anakin blushed bright red. “Oh no,” he whispered. 

“Oh no?” 

“Oh no, I forgot about my meeting with the Chancellor,” Anakin said. “I wanted to play with the Child so bad I completely forgot, should I send a message back? Do I reschedule? What-”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan interrupted as he set his teacup back down on its saucer. “I think you make a wonderful father.”

Chancellor Palpatine always set off Obi-Wan’s internal alarms anyway. 

“Thank you, Master.”

* * *

Obi-Wan sighed as he woke up to the sounds of walking and muffled curses. He rubbed at his eyes blearily before recognizing the sound of his padawan stomping around at- Obi-Wan glanced around, looking for the time- 0200 in the morning. He sighed again as he tugged the covers around himself, wandering over to Anakin’s room. 

“Anakin?” He knocked on the door softly and called. “What are you doing up?” There was a loud thump as Anakin undoubtably fell over. 

“Uhh, nothing Master!” Anakin called back, sounding nervous. Obi-Wan took a moment to think if his padawan truly assumed that he would just leave, and how his life had become what it was. 

“I’m coming in.” 

“No, don’t-” Obi-Wan pushed open the door only to pause as he took in the view. Anakin was dressed in his nightclothes, rumpled like he had just rolled out of bed. Judging by the state of his bed, he had. Obi-Wan’s gaze passed over the scattered clothing and mechanical pieces to look at the far wall, which Anakin was valiantly trying to cover up. “It’s nothing!” He yelped. 

Obi-Wan turned to stare at the fourteen year old boy who was under his care. He half-hoped the lighting would highlight the dark circles under his eyes, possibly guilting his padawan into behaving for a few days. He doubted it would work, but he could hope all the same. 

“What are you working on that is so important that it had to be finished at oh-two-hundred in the morning?” Obi-Wan’s voice sounded as dead inside as he felt. 

“It’s.. nothing to worry about, master! I-” Anakin cut himself off as Obi-Wan met his eyes. He looked away sheepishly, revealing what he had been trying to cover. A mess of sheets of flimsy and string covered the far wall of Anakin’s room. 

“And what is this?” Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. He hitched up the covers around his shoulders. Anakin smiled nervously and began to talk. 

“I was thinking, earlier- so you know how the Child is maybe possibly Yoda’s son? And he’s my son, too, so I was making this chart because if you think about it Yoda and I are maybepossiblyco-parents and then I really started thinking and if we’re coparents then Master Dooku would be my ‘son’ too, because if you think of Jedi lineages enough then it’s almost a family line! But that means that I’m my own great-great-grandson, and-”

Obi-Wan raised a hand to stop him. He rubbed his eyes, trying to ward off the coming headache. “And why, this early in the morning?” 

“I didn’t want to lose my train of thought!” 

Obi-Wan sighed yet again. He wondered idly at what age he’d go gray, and if there was any possible way to delay such a thing. 

“Anakin, please go to sleep.” Then he turned around and left to crawl back to bed, leaving Anakin sputtering behind him.

* * *

Anakin stumbled as he walked through the Temple after a long campaign. The war didn’t stop for anyone, not even exhausted twenty-year-old Knight Generals. He wanted nothing more than to collapse into a bed and sleep his leave away at this point, but there was someone he needed to see first. 

His Child. 

Anakin followed his feet as they led him down to the creche. He’d been there countless times since he was young, and made every effort to come down as often as possible. Now more than ever he enjoyed being around the younglings and their bright Light presences. 

“Ani!” A small chorus greeted him when he walked through the door. Almost immediately a small group of kids, all species and genders, clung to his legs in an effort to pull him down. Anakin ignored the extra weight and walked- admittedly more difficulty- over to greet the crechemaster. 

“Knight Skywalker!” The Rodian male, Oulio Xare, called out. “It’s wonderful to see you again, mostly unharmed.”

“Thank you, Crechemaster Xare,” he responded as he glanced around. “Is he-?”

“The Child’s alright, just sleeping. It’ll be some time until he wakes up, so if you’d like, you can play with the younglings here..?” Xare said with a pointed look. 

Anakin reached up to ruffle his hair as he smiled. “I don’t know, I have some things I have to finish.” 

“No, please stay!” One of the children following begged. More and more voices joined in until Anakin gave up, laughing, and let himself be dragged away. 

Yeah, the creche was always the first place he visited.

* * *

“Ahsoka!” Anakin called out to her as she walked into their shared quarters. 

“What’d you need, Master?” Ahsoka looked around, raising her eyebrow as she noticed the Child. “What’s this?”

Anakin beamed as he held the green baby up in front of him. “I just wanted to introduce my two kids to each other! Can’t a dad do that?” 

Ahsoka stared at him. “Wouldn’t I be more of your sister?” 

Anakin groaned and let his head fall back. “Not you too! I swear… Now come here,” he waved. Ahsoka stepped forward as Anakin gestured with his head more violently. 

“Ahsoka, my daughter and sister and padawan, I’d like for you to meet to Child! He’s my other child and brother and technically my great granduncle?” His brow furrowed. “It’s weird, I know, but he’s also technically your great great granduncle and brother, and it's just very complicated in general.”

“We already know each other, Skyguy,” Ahsoka laughed. “We were in the creche together. And besides, everyone knew the famous Child besides! What with all the gossip.” 

Anakin gave the Child over for her to hold and reached up to play with his hair. “I suppose I should have guessed that, huh?” He asked with a smile. 

“Just maybe,” she grinned back. “But it’s still great to re-meet this little guy! And he’s a lot cuter than Stinky,” she wrinkled her nose.

* * *

“Dooku! Stop this at once or you’re  _ grounded!”  _ Anakin yelled. 

_ “Oh my god,”  _ Fives whispered. “I didn't think he’d actually do it.”

Rex nodded dumbly from next to them. He watched the 501st’s General as he threw himself into a duel with the Sith Lord, threatening various punishments meanwhile. 

Dooku seemed more confused and disgusted than he ever had been, and more emotions Rex couldn’t name passed his face. 

The battle had all but halted when Anakin had yelled, droids and clones alike standing aside to watch the chaos. 

_ “Don’t make me tell your father!” _

* * *

“General Skywalker! I’m glad to have caught you.” Anakin turned from where he was talking to Obi-Wan to face the clone calling his name. He recognized the colors, after a minute, They were from Grandmaster Yoda’s battalion, Commander- Gree? Maybe?

Anakin paused for the commander to catch up, slightly confused as to why the clone would need  _ him  _ when both the 501st and 212th were on temporary leave. There were endless possibilities, none of them good, and there wasn’t “What can I do for you, Commander?” 

Gree stood up straight under Anakin’s gaze and snapped into a salute. “Sir! We need you to talk to your ex, he needs his sleep and he won’t listen to us.” 

Anakin was sure his face had blanked. He could hear Obi-Wan laughing faintly behind him, bent over from the force of his giggling. Every thought in his brain had ground to a complete stop. 

“I’m sorry, who?” Anakin asked, trying to process what Gree had said. The man just looked at him with a completely straight face and repeated his request. Anakin took a deep breath and pinched himself. “And who would that be?”

“General Yoda.” 

If Anakin thought Obi-Wan was laughing before, he was absolutely dying now. Anakin turned back around to face him on the floor, only to turn back around immediately. Anakin took a deep breath and tried to calm his voice. “Yoda and I aren’t involved,” he said. 

“That’s why I said ‘ex’, sir.” Gree responded. 

Anakin forced down his embarrassment as Obi-Wan made the sound of a dying bantha beside him. “We were  _ never  _ involved,” he pushed. 

Gree’s forehead creased as he frowned in confusion. “But, sir, aren’t you co-parenting the Child?” 

“I am his father, yes, and Yoda might be but he’s never confirmed, so yes we count him as the Child’s parent.”

“...So you weren’t-”

“I’m going to go now!” Anakin declared as he practically ran away, Obi-Wan letting out another braying laugh behind him.

* * *

It was all over the holos the next day. Someone had overheard Commander Gree talking about Anakin’s ‘ex’, and had taken it straight to the news. Anakin thanked the Force that they hadn’t heard the following exchange, for whatever reason. 

Anakin shoved his comm away, after the fourtieth forwarded message about ‘The Hero With No Fear- and and his former love?’. Most of the major news outlets were covering the story, along with a countless number of gossip magazines, fans speculating, and ‘mommy blogs’. 

Anakin hadn’t known what a mommy blog was until today. 

He pulled his comm back out as it rang  _ yet again.  _ “I swear Quinlan if you’re sending me another article-”

“Skywalker.” 

“-Windu!” Anakin cut himself off with a cough. “What can I do for you?” 

“You’re needed before the Council.” 

“Of course, Master. I’ll be there right away,” Anakin said. Anything, even a meeting with the Council, would be better than this. At least he could shut his comm off and not worry about missing any important information. 

Except when he finally stood before the Council, he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to come so early. He’d known the members long enough to recognize if they were hiding smiles, over comm or not. 

“Skywalker, we need you to answer our questions quickly and truthfully. Lives may depend on this information,” Mace Windu stated. He was harder to read than most, but Anakin could swear that he saw the hint of a smirk on his lips. 

“Of course, Master,” Anakin said as he stood up straighter. 

“Good.” He nodded. “These rumors that are circling around Coruscant- we need to know the identity of your former lover.” 

Anakin choked on thin air. “I- I don’t-”

Mace sighed as Anakin continued to sputter. “The Seperatists may decide to target them, we need this information for their own safety,” he continued. “If you don’t wish to say anything, we can always read off the lists until we reach them.”

Anakin could feel his face burning hotter than how Tatooine felt in his memories as Mace Windu, Master of the Jedi Order, pulled up a stack of holos on his comm. He just barely caught a glimpse of a headline titles “Anidala Over? Downstairs Neighbor Spills On the Jedi and Senator’s Illicit Romance, and The Partners Before” before Mace started talking. “Coruscanti Daily’s Top 10 Most Likely Candidated for The Hero With No Fear’s Former Love, Number One: Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi.” Anakin’s head snapped around to stare at his master, sitting across from him in the room. Sure, his master was handsome and maybe he’d thought about kissing him once or twice- even talked about it with Padmé, but that didn’t mean-

Obi-Wan had the audacity to wink at Anakin when they met eyes. Anakin had never wanted to melt into a puddle of goo more than he had at that moment. “Number Two: Senator Padmé Amidala.” Mace paused. “Strange, because I thought that was the current partner. Number Three-”

“Stop,” Anakin just barely managed to croak. He could see Plo Koon and Shaak Ti clutching their stomachs and laughing over holo, silent. On mute. 

“Are you going to tell us the name, Skywalker?” Mace asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“I- we were never together, it was just a misunderstanding-” Anakin tried to explain. He could feel a cold sweat forming on his forehead at the thought of trying to explain the situation to the Council-  _ including  _ Yoda himself. 

“Skywalker! We need a name.” 

Anakin mumbled unintelligibly, and Mace raised an eyebrow. “Louder, please.” Anakin whispered. “Skywalker!”

“It was Yoda!” He shouted. “Gree called us exes because we were co-parenting the Child.”

“Thank you, Skywalker. You’re dismissed.” Mace finished. Anakin looked around to the rest of the Masters, trying and failing to hold back their laughs. Yoda didn’t even bother, cackling loudly. 

Anakin bowed lowly and kept his eyes to the floor as he left. 

He was wrong, earlier. Now was when he most wanted to melt into a pile of goo. 

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate Snippet Summaries:  
> Anakin, age 12: I’m a dad!  
> Obi-Wan, too old for this: no you’re not, you’re an older brother- (realizing that this would keep Anakin busy and away from Palpatine) -you’re doing a wonderful job as a father, Anakin.  
> -  
> Anakin, age 14: oh my god we’re coparents  
> Obi-Wan: no you’re not shut the fuck up  
> -  
> Anakin: oh my god you’re my great great grandson  
> Obi-Wan, crying: go back to sleep, please
> 
> I may or may not add onto this at some point- it depends, but if you have any ideas, feel free to leave them in the comments!
> 
> [EDIT: I forgot to add this photo, which I made in a few minutes while thinking about Anakin’s conspiracy wall](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/727225295211593788/730835207892238496/Screenshot_20200709-121758_Samsung_Notes.jpg)
> 
> You can yell at me on tumblr at [rynae-reblogs!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/rynae-reblogs)


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